professorglim's Xanga

Beginnings

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:56:33 GMT

One day we wake to find ourselves lost
within the petty trappings of society.
We reflect.
What could we have approached differently?
There are too many expectations,
too many demands.

And as for us,
we are the casualties.

The poor attempt to feed themselves, and each other.
The merciful go about dispensing mercy, and draining their reserves.
The peacemakers are written off as con-artists and shams.
Most slip into repetitive patterns,
a largely dissatisfying mix of obligation, isolation, and sometimes
the pursuit of truth.

(A few break free.)

Occasionally those who mourn are comforted.
Occasionally, the meek inherit the earth.

And all of us who play tired charades
entertain our own private restlessness
and sometimes, introspective,
half-believe that we could be released.

We venture to the ocean's edge to witness
waves crash and break.
Absolute freedom.
We consider -
would it be possible to harness the energy of a wave?

We would be surprised, perhaps, obliged to help
construct a fragile reconciliation of the world unto itself.

These doors are heavy doors.
It leaves me wanting more,
and more.

political observations

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 13:55:31 GMT

Frankly, I'm a little tired of politics. I've always been interested in current events, what's going on in the world, what's going on in the government, what the hot issues are. Ever since I was 11 or so, I've read the news. I haven't been much of an idealist in the last seven years or so, but I admit I got pretty excited about "my first important election." After all, it isn't just any presidential election. This is the election where George W. Bush will be replaced! Pretty much everyone seems to be hungry for change, and maybe that's why Obama's so appealing. He's all about change.

On a more personal level, I got excited about this election because of the evolution, over the years, of my own views. I started out - pretty normally, I guess, for an 11 or 12 year old - essentially accepting my parents' views. But that changed. There was no one drastic about-face, it was a gradual process. One day I simply realized that I'm liberal on more issues than not. It was an odd realization, given my very conservative roots.

I still remember the day years ago when I discovered an article detailing abuses at Guantanamo Bay. I was outraged by what I read. It was a long article, and I printed the whole thing and left it at my Mom's place at the table.

So yes, I became disillusioned with President Bush.

Other things took more time, like discovering my socialist leanings. I had a lot of influences in highschool. My Mom, of course, staunchly conservative, even though her beliefs have not been stagnant over these last few years either. My youth leader in my early highschool years, also very conservative, but who still challenged me on a number of points (like the death penalty - I've been strongly opposed for several years now). Then there were my theatre friends. These great, out-there people who helped me see things in an even broader way. And my pastor ("pastor" even though I don't attend his church), Wayne, who is one of the coolest people I've ever known, who constantly challenges me and is very balanced in his perspectives.

Anyway, I now identify as liberal, or moderate-to-liberal. So early on I started checking out possible candidates, then candidates and front-runners, paying close attention, of course, mainly to the Democrats. Edwards was my early favorite. His anti-poverty platform was refreshing, considering that's an issue that often seems to be pushed aside (everything's not, incidentally, about the Iraq War). Of course in recent weeks we've learned of Edwards' affair. I admit I'm disappointed, and yeah, sorry for his family's sake. But I still believe in what he stands for, and my disappointment may stem primarily from the fact that his VP chances are now shot.

After he quickly fell behind in polls I looked to Clinton. For one thing, the celebrity-ism of Obama has always rubbed me the wrong way. I do like him, but I liked her more. The awesomeness of electing our first woman president was, yeah, too great to pass up. But I didn't just like her because she's a woman. She's had a lot more experience than Obama, and I liked her professionalism, her commitment. I loved her heathcare plan, and liked her approach to the Iraq situation. Of course, a very vocal set of people adamantly hated her. I'm not talking about a few friends of mine who would joke around just to try and tick me off. I'm talking about facebook groups and comments, general revulsion and nastiness aimed at her. And I know I wasn't the only one thinking, what the hell is being reacted to here? Clinton's more moderate than Obama, so it made me wonder - are the extreme conservatives bashing Clinton mainly because she's a woman? I thought it was pretty sick.

I started worrying though about former President Clinton's heavy involvement in her campaign. I wondered: who's being loved here? Hilary Clinton, or Bill Clinton? I was concerned that if she was elected, her presidency might not be different ENOUGH from his. And once it became clear Obama was the candidate of choice, I was sorry she didn't bow out sooner.

As for Obama - I love his charisma, his beautiful speeches, his passion. But I don't really believe in him. I'm too cynical to believe in the "audacity of hope". I can't really work up the courage to be optimistic about politics. Yeah, I'll vote for him again (I voted Obama in the primary as well). But I can't help but remember the conservative evangelical Christian community's euphoria over President Bush back in 2000, and even 2004. Now it's a different group that's ecstatic about Obama, but who can say they won't be let down in even bigger ways?

I do think McCain is wrong to accuse Obama of being nothing more than a celebrity. It's a lot more of a problem that he's relatively inexperienced. But yes, it's true that he IS a celebrity, of sorts, idolized especially by a lot of young people. I think there's a lot of trust he's carrying around - the trust of people who dare to hope, and who really believe in the possibility of radical change.

I do think good things will come out of Obama's presidency, if he's elected. Like I said, I lean left. I'm mostly excited about the possibility of social change - addressing poverty, health care reform (and maybe education reform... it would be nice). But I think a lot of the changes that need to happen in this world of ours can't really come out of politics.

Sticky Notes

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:53:01 GMT

So I haven't blogged in about a month, but I've written down blog notes to myself on sticky notes, and I'm going to type them all out, just this short little series of short blogs, hopefully capturing a few of my thoughts lately. Nothing profound, I promise. There are five or six of them, ending with a poem by C. S. Lewis. Here goes.

Life

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:45:35 GMT

you just live your life, and then you live your life some more, but maybe the ultimate goal isn't just to live it well, and do some meaningful things, but also to love the process of living - or at least the pretty good parts - and live it alongside other people.

Fragments

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:43:09 GMT

Sometimes the most beautiful things in life are also the most understated. Small conversations. Walking down the road to catch a sunset. Chocolate. Funny people. The kind of art that captures the essence of being alive.

A few lines....

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:36:14 GMT

from something I wrote.

It's just about someone I knew once, but didn't know well, who's been gone about three years now.

I didn't know you then and now am ashamed, almost, of my extravagance.
But I still cling to your memory -
the all too seldom dreams of your smile, especially -
like a lifeline.

Heath Ledger

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:30:56 GMT

Amazing.

Damn.

Wrestling

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:29:48 GMT

Certain expressions of Christianity - or religious approaches - can result in repressing negative emotions. No, I shouldn't express my negative emotions in damaging ways, but it's not wrong to express them honestly. In fact it's unhealthy not to. Sometimes it's very freeing to be completely honest, to come clean: To say, even if only to myself, this is how I really feel. This is what I think.

"It seems... that Christ's parables, Christ's words about eating His flesh and drinking His blood, were designed to bypass the memorization of ideas and cause us to wrestle with a certain need to cling to Him. In other words, a poetic presenation of the gospel of Jesus is more accurate than a set of steps." - Don Miller

Sisters

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:25:36 GMT

Some of my best times this summer have been with Helen and Alice - dinner (Shogun... and I don't even like sushi...), movies, shopping, random conversations.

The Beach

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 21:21:19 GMT

Last month I spent a few days with my family on Tybee Island.

The beach hasn't changed much.
I have.
But I'm still in love with it.